© Steve Bouser 2001
...We were talking about predestination.
See that house, over there across the way? That's where I grew up. And back behind there, where it's too dark to see, there used to be an apple tree. It had a rotten limb on it, way up high. And that fact, that an apple tree once had a rotten limb — that's why, many years later, I first happened to go to Washington. ...
Joe was just six. My little brother. He was playing in that tree when the limb broke. I can still see him bouncing from limb to limb, like a rag doll. He landed on his hip. That boy hit the ground so hard. And it was my fault. I was supposed to be looking after him.
Then Joe got an infection in his thigh. In the bone marrow. Osteomyelitis. It just wouldn't go away. He had to endure these miserable surgeries for the rest of his life. Each time...
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And this time I took the oath not from the speaker of the House but from the vice president of the United States.
There's still a picture around here someplace, from back in 1954. I’ve got my hand on a Bible, and both of us are grinning like Chessy cats. But I could tell what Mister Vice President was thinking: What kind of country bumpkin have those segregationists away down yonder in the Land of Cotton sent us this time?
Can't say I took very well to that rather quare young fellow, either. The vice president. He was a smart one, but there was just something about him. ... So that was the first time I ever laid eyes on Richard Milhaus Nixon...
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...I found this earlier, in there trying to research my book. I've never showed it to anybody. But since I told about the other ...
"Private Samuel J. Ervin Jr. is awarded the Distinguished Service Cross for extraordinary heroism near Soissons, France, on July 18th, 1918. ..."
Sounds like they're talking about somebody else. Some other Private Ervin in a book somewhere. Whatever I might have done, it didn't feel like heroism at the time. You just didn't want let your buddies down. See, your platoon leader gets shot. Just like that. The boys are all scared and disorganized, and there's a German machine gun blowing the unmerciful hell out of everything. And if somebody doesn't take charge and do something to knock the damn thing out —
"Private Ervin led a successful charge on a machine-gun nest, in the face of direct enemy fire, until he fell severely wounded by German shell fragments. ..."
It goes on. ... "Heavy loss of blood." ... Yeah, that's true enough. ... "Refused to be evacuated." ...
Still sounds like somebody else.
I killed at least one man — maybe more. I don't recommend it. I had a little trouble readjusting. Used to lock myself in my room over there and smoke cigarettes all day. My mother......
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...Most of my colleagues knew the Monkey Bill for what it was: a frontal assault on the First Amendment to the Constitution. But a lot of them were afraid to go up against their churches back home.
A number of legislators spoke for the bill. Then it came time for the opponents. I waited for someone with more seniority to speak out. But we all just sat there, and you could hear that old grandfather clock ticking up by the speaker's desk, and finally --
Mr. Speaker!
Mr. Speaker, I know nothing about evolution. But I see only one good feature in this proposal: It will gratify the monkeys of the jungle to know that they are absolved of any responsibility for the foolishness of humanity in general. And for this legislature in particular.
Now, if we’re going to approve this bill, then let’s go ahead and pass one against witches. And Columbus......
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...Well, they finally got up a committee to look into censuring McCarthy. And they put me on it — because of my judicial experience, they said. But also because nobody else wanted the job.
NO!
No, gentlemen. Don't blind yourselves to the facts. One tragic truth stands out above all the sound and fury of this sad and disgraceful hour: Senator McCarthy besmirches across the length and breadth of this land the reputations of all senators who dare oppose his will.
He now alleges that the Communist Party has extended its tentacles into this committee itself. If Senator McCarthy doesn't really believe those fantastic and foul accusations, then he's.......
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...Not long before Senator McCarthy died, someone asked me how I could befriend a man who had done such harm. It's like the question people always ask us lawyers: How can you defend a client you know is guilty?
I’ve always liked the answer I heard an old-time North Carolina judge give. "One of these days," he said, "I'll be the accused, standing before the Great White Throne. Christ will be my advocate. And he'll certainly be defending a guilty client."
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...Up in Washington, I spent years defending a guilty client. I’m afraid I got pretty good at it. For a long time, that's what I was mostly known for up there.
Now, then, Mr. Kennedy. The Judiciary Committee is pleased to welcome you back for another day of testimony. It’s always an honor to have the attorney general of the United States come and talk with us.
We all appreciate the zeal with which you and your brother's administration are pressing your civil rights proposals. But I'm bound to say that some of them seem drastic in their particulars.
For example —
— Pardon? ... Why, no, sir. Of course there's nothing drastic about the right to vote. Or to get a decent education. We’re looking at the means, not the ends.
Now, Mr. Kennedy, ...
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...Anyway. The guard catches a half-dozen men in there red-handed. Planting bugs. Copying documents. We all knew it wasn't a third-rate burglary, like they tried to say. But even after those fellas turned out to have their pockets stuffed with Nixon campaign cash — and all kinds of other ties to the White House — who'd have thought it would come to this?
I never wanted it to. I think this is just about the greatest tragedy our country has ever suffered. And so damned unnecessary.
I'm a Yellow Dog Democrat. And even I knew that George McGovern never had a chance in 1972. All Mr. Nixon had to do was breeze through. But.......
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...Now, ma'am, you’re referring to G. Gordon Liddy, the former White House counsel. Is that correct?
— I see. And one of the dirty tricks he proposed was to hire a woman to appear at the Democratic Convention and, uh, disrobe? Before the TV cameras? Wearing nothing but a McGovern button? ...
— Well, where was she going to PIN it?! ...
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...In its final report, our committee recommends new laws to minimize the danger of future Watergates. But law merely punishes human beings for offending. It does not make human beings good.
I come from a state where they believe that the laws of God are embodied in the King James Version of the Bible. And I think that those who participated in this effort to nullify the laws of man overlooked one of the laws of God, which is set forth in the seventh verse of the sixth chapter of Galatians:
"Be not deceived. God is not mocked. For whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap."
These hearings stand adjourned.
NIXON'S VOICE
I have never been a quitter. To leave office before my term is completed is abhorrent to every instinct in my body. ...
© Steve Bouser 2001